I can't imagine anyone else relating to this quote as much as those whom have adopted a child internationally. This quote gained all new meaning to us when we held our son from Kazakhstan in our arms that very first day back in April of 2008. Now as we are in our 61st month of waiting to grow our family, we are yet again reminded of these words. Although it's been a long 5 years of yearning to have our daughter from China, we know with all our being that all these days of waiting have led us to this one special little girl and that she is truly meant to be our daughter, our Amelia Mei!
It's amazing to think of all that has happened these last 5 years, the numerous delays, the decisions we have made, big and small, and the number of times we have been led down one path only to come to a dead end. After each twist and turn and every road block along the path of creating our forever Finney Family, we have been miraculously joined with our son Liam and have now been matched with this one precious girl living thousands of miles away. Just like every birth of a child is a miracle, the adoption of a child is a miracle all of it's own! Looking back at our journey is proof of this miracle....
When we first learned of the major delays to China adoptions back in 2007, we came to a cross roads which brought about a huge decision. Do we adopt from another country, pursue fertility treatments again, continue the endless wait for a healthy child from China, or do we apply for a child of special needs? Now looking back, we realize even more what a huge decision this really was for our family. Adopting from Kazakhstan in 2008 was one of our life's best decisions...as it led us to our son, Liam...and anyone who knows our family has witnessed first-hand how absolutely meant for each other we are! What once seemed like such a misfortune when faced with the major China delays, clearly became one of our life's greatest blessings!
Fast-forward 3 more years to January of 2011, Ben and I faced yet another cross-roads. We had begun the adoption process to adopt a child from Korea in the fall of 2010, but early into the process, we learned of significant delays to the Korea adoption program -- once again, we were left wondering - do we give up, is Liam meant to be an only child? Through much faith and prayer, we were quickly led down another path. Yet another misfortune was soon to reveal itself as another blessing in disguise! In January of 2011, Ben and I decided to apply for the "waiting child program" to adopt a special needs child from China. Although we had always considered a special needs adoption, it was not something we fully investigated until that point in time. The more we learned about these "special needs" children, the more we knew it was the path we were meant to take. We learned that our agency alone was placing, on average, 40 children a month through the waiting child program and that the majority of these children had one single minor correctable need, primarily cleft lip or palate. On average, they were only placing 5 children a month through the "traditional" adoption program for completely healthy children. If we continued to wait out the wait for a completely healthy child, we would be looking at another 2-3 years before we would be matched with our daughter. We knew this was not an option! We learned that over 50% of the approximately 70,000 children living across Chinese orphanages have some type of special medical need - even if it's as minor as a pronounced birthmark, a minor heart defect, webbed fingers, or a cleft lip - these children were all being classified as "special needs" children. Upon further research and reading up on other family blogs whom have adopted special needs, we said to ourselves "if we were handed one of these children today, would we ever say no and walk away? If we delivered a child naturally with a special need, would we not still love that child all the same? Does having a perfect child for our family mean that this child must be perfect in every way? Do we not have the means, the resources, the love needed to care for a child with a special medical need? We continued asking ourselves these questions and our hearts were quickly awakened, our worries were overcome and we then knew that this was the path that was destined for our family!
Once we decided to adopt from the waiting child program, we waited anxiously for our referral as we completed more and more paperwork to update our homestudy and our immigration documentation. For these last 8 months, we have spent our days completing educational seminars on "how to parent a child of a different race", participating in interviews with our social worker where we were asked questions that would once again prove ourselves fit to parent a child. We completed health physicals, obtained employer and physician approvals, verified our financial stability and once again opened up our personal lives so that our social worker, the united states immigration office, the Illinois department of child services, and the officials in China could all approve us to adopt a child from China. With each of these steps we wondered to ourselves with frustration - "why can't we speed this along?!". Well, we clearly know the answer to this now. All is perfect in God's timing...our Chun Mei was meant for us! With each of these approvals behind us, we are now just waiting for the last step...our TRAVEL APPROVAL! Chun Mei, our Amelia, is just fingertips away!
The wait since our referral day has been one of the most difficult waits of our lives. To know who our daughter is, to see her picture, her porcelein cheeks, her rose-bud mouth, her striking eyes, but to not hold her, hug or kiss her, and to not even know our "due date" of when we will meet her for the first time--it's just heart wrenching! Yet we are are happily nearing the end of our wait -- we know our "due date" is within reach! We recently completed the very last step of the process, called Article 5, which is the final step before we receive travel approval. Our travel approval is our go ahead to book our flight to China! We are expected to receive this within 2-4 weeks of Article 5, which for us was on August 16, so we are very hopeful that we will be traveling to China by the end of September! The wait is almost over, hooray!!!
As we continue these final weeks of waiting, we will remind ourselves of that feeling we had when we held our son in our arms the very first time. The feeling when all the agony, frustration, the delays, the scrutiny, the endless paperwork, the pain, the heart ache - all vanish in a moment's time. Those feelings are forever replaced with pure peace and happiness, with a love indescribable. As you hold your child for the first time, you know deep in your heart and soul...that this moment and the many moments ahead were well worth waiting for! This moment with our Amelia is just a small wait away!
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
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